And I killed him….


I was 18 when I got married to him. It was a complete traditional North Indian Wedding. I wasn’t mature enough to understand what actually marriage was. But I was happy to be dressed in beautiful and elegant bridal dress. Every girl dreams to have a prince charming who will come on white horse to marry her and they will live in their palace. I also dreamt the same.

Sitting on the bed in a bridal dress, I was waiting for him with a lot of thoughts running in my mind. Suddenly the door opened, I closed my eyes. I was so nervous to face him. After a few minutes, when I opened my eyes, he was lying on the floor. He was drunk. I sat in one corner of the room and waited for him to wake up. And I too slept. My eyes got opened wide when somebody threw a glass of water on my face. He was my husband. He abused me and asked me to bring him tea. I got afraid. I had not faced such situation in my life before. I went into the kitchen and started preparing tea. I was still in my bridal dress. My mother-in-law came there and started cursing me for not proving myself a good wife on my first night and for not pleasing my husband. I was speechless. I couldn’t utter a word.

I went with tea in my room and he was not there. He had gone. I changed my clothes and sat on the sofa. I was shivering. I wanted to go home. Suddenly tears started rolling down my eyes. It was a helpless situation for me. I was hungry and new in the house. Nobody came to ask me if I needed anything.  It was lunchtime, I went in the hall. My mother-in-law was watching television there. I told her that I was hungry. She looked at me for some seconds and started yelling. I got scared and went back in my room. I arranged my clothes in cupboard and cleaned the room. I lay down on the bed and slept. Somebody touched my lips and I got up abruptly. It was him, my husband. He went towards the door and locked it. I got nervous. And he took what he actually wanted out of me.

I was nothing more than a servant in the mornings and a devoted wife at nights. I served him like slaves. Once I complaint to my father and he said that my husband was my life now and I should do whatever he says. And I too accepted everything, considering it my fate. He used to beat me like anything.

In all these bad situations, something good happened. I was expecting a child. I was happy. I was very happy. I thought that he will change now. He is going to be a father of my baby and his feelings will change for me. But he was the same, nothing got changed. Even things got worse. I kept quiet and waited for my child to come in the world. And the day came and I was blessed with a baby girl. My husband came in hospital to see me and my daughter. He took her in his arms and said that she will be a bitch like you. He threw her on the bed and went out. I was hot red angry, but couldn’t do anything.

Time passed and Angel was a year old now. But that man was still the same. One day I was ironing the clothes and Angel was playing on the bed. My husband was bathing. Suddenly Angel fell from the bed and I rushed to pick her up. And his shirt got burnt. I was cuddling Angel and he saw his shirt. He shouted at me and kept the hot iron on my back. I screamed in pain. Angel got scared and started crying. He moved with that hot iron towards Angel. I pushed him and asked him to stay away from my daughter. He pulled my hairs and threw me on the floor. He was going to harm my daughter. I took knife lying on the table and stabbed him on his chest. I kept stabbing him until he fell unconscious and I killed him. I killed my husband. Now, I am in Central jail and waiting to live with my daughter again. I don’t know what punishment I will get from court. But I do not repent whatever I did to save my daughter.